Early on, I took on events solo to keep costs down. I was afraid a quote that came in too high would lose the job. So I absorbed the work myself.

What I did not see at the time was what that decision was actually building. Not a solution. A pattern. Whether you are working independently or embedded with a client or company, the moment you take on more than you should, even temporarily, that becomes the new floor.

One of the first things I tell a new cook or a team member is simple: ask me five times if you don’t understand before telling me you get it when you don’t.

Pay attention to what is said, not what isn’t.

There is a saying that has stayed with me for a long time. If they gossip with you, they will gossip about you. Simple. And the longer you spend in professional kitchens, the more you understand exactly how true it is.

Here is the thing about being the person someone chooses to confide in. It can feel like a connection. Like trust. Like they picked you specifically because of something between the two of you. And maybe that is part of it. But if what they are bringing you is a takedown of someone who is not in the room, that moment is not intimacy. It is a test. And what you do next says everything about the kind of operator, leader, or teammate you actually are.

Catering is not what it used to be. When I came up in this industry, the pool was smaller, the learning curve was respected, and the people doing the work had put in the time to understand it. You worked your way through the stages. You showed up early and stayed late for someone else's event before you ever ran your own. You learned the lessons by living them, not by watching them on a screen.

That has changed.